sianxx..

2006-09-03T21:33:00.000+08:00

GOODBYE BLOG !!!

2006-09-01T21:16:00.000+08:00

shld i continue blogging on this blog and change my skin... or.. i'll create a new one and let this stays as history...hmm...

2006-08-28T18:51:00.000+08:00

Fragments of the words we spoke kept whirling through my mind.. I was thinking.. was the words said all comes from our mind.. I'm sad.. perhaps no word in the dictionary can describe it...

I didn't gave any concentration to my mind today.. for everything i've done.. i was always thinking.. even during the bio practical.. i didn't know i was cutting my hand when i'm cutting the stupid cucumber.. till i felt some liquid dripping.. it wasn't pain.. when my mind didn't feel it.

I have no words left to say..

If one day.. I went missing on purpose,

How would you find me?
Keep ringing up my cellphone or my domestic phone?
Do you know who I would turn to?
Do you know where I would run to?
Or would you just pray for a miracle?
Or would you even bother?

For most of the time, a normal-non-scheming person runs away to hide for two reasons:
=/To have a little time being alone.
=/To be found by you.

If one day.. I were to die,

What would be your first reaction?
Would you say, "What a pity!" or "I cant believe it."?
What would you miss about me?
My stupid jokes, my sarcasm, my blog?
My concern for you?
Or would you still hate me?

the sun will never shine bright again...

2006-08-27T15:46:00.000+08:00

I think everything had already ended bahx.. and i ended up with nothing.. yes.. like wat others said... dont give a person everything because when she's gone, u've got nothing... thats me.

In the end, i'm still just a puppet who got fooled around.. a guy who got ditched... a guy who got cheated.. a bad guy.. only by being the bad one.. then i could make u forget me and hate me till the end... only by being the bad one.. then u could love him more.. only by being the one.. then u could be happier.. .. and forget abt everything.. by doing so.. i could have all the blame on .. and not anyone else..

And i realise... to her.. memories are not to cherish.. to her.. the past is just the past.. and wat she wants.. is just a better guy.. not the things that we went through..

Its time for me to turn back to my original place.. not to a place where i shldn't be.. the most complicated ones.. although its not easy to get use to it.. but i have no choice.. theres only a road for me and i can only walk with myself...nothing else.. to heal all my wounds.. i could only use my own hands..

Back to the place where i shld be.. back to where am i..

once i was happy.
and i thought it was always going to be that way.
when suddenly, my world was shattered.
and everything i've dreamt of crumbled to pieces.
and i was left alone with only a handful to start with.

i'm in deep shit.. didn't study anything for tml's exam

i'm sry for all the words that i've said.. i was left with no choice.. but only those words and things that hurt u could end us in a faster way.. i'm really sorry.. i lied everything that i've said..

2006-08-26T20:37:00.000+08:00

-[ Great Love, Great Speed, Bad Ending ]-

Should love be fast, furious and hot or should it be slow, steady and constant?

I wonder. I think about how some people could have such intensed love and still be sad while some has a simple love and still be sad too. Then again, such questions reap no reward because they are too many other contributing factors that I cant possibly cover everyone of them.

I wonder how some people "get over" a lost love in three days while some people takes months or even years to get use to the pain(note: get use to, not recover.). When i said "get over", i mean getting involved in a new relationship. For me, a new relationship is no substitute, and i dont wish to hurt anyone. If I wanna be with someone, it would meant that i want to commit and treasure.

But I just cant seem to understand why some people can be in "love" so soon again.

One thing I'm rather sure of: Happy people on stage arent happy.

thats it-

2006-08-21T18:55:00.000+08:00

Hah. Been more than 1 week since my last. Though still not in the mood, but i think its time for another post. My life has been so thrilling these few weeks. Really so much significant things that happened, and really changed my life.

Stress hadn't gave way to me. Through relationship, studies, friends and family. Although it is not given in a way, but everything that linked up, pushed me down. I'm not elaborating much.

You gotta respect me.
You gotta understand me.

I am no one else.
Treat me like a decent love.

I've got emotions, and my limits.
You arent suppose to be wielding knives,
stabbing them one by one and slowly into the depths of weakness.

The delusions of fault confuses and exhausts me.
Told you once too many times, distinctions arent important
but baby,
I feel underappreciated.
I'm just one poor soul, holding on to a little faith.
Hold it on for me.

For I fear my soul is weak,
and the wound is deep.
The hand's getting loose because I lost too much life fluid.

Too many priorities, you gotta made a decision whether u want me at all.
It isnt fair.
No, not to me.
Hold on to me,
or let me know you are letting go. =

2006-08-12T18:42:00.000+08:00

-[ definitely not in the best of moods ]-

Im not smiling.

I dont want a quarrel, so i kept my piece.
Just a little afraid, cause the sky's really bleak.

Really not in the mood to blog.. so wont be blogging till my mood is back.. =(

I'm an idiot

2006-08-10T19:23:00.000+08:00

I'm really such an idiot who lost my confidence.. thats the silliest thing a guy can be..

Realised i lost track of my own soul recently.
Been churned and messed up in this world by this world.
Forgotten my aims, neglected my purposes.
What made me realised: me getting all worked up over small things.
Back to basics,
return to me.
Back to where
I wanna be.
Some say I do reckless things, some say I dont work hard enough.
I guess whatever you say is based on whatever you judged upon,
and certainly your kind of criteria dont work for me.
I cant stop anyone from judging me or anything, and i wont.
You are who you are, no matter how you choose your own life.
Let me choose mine.
I do try to listen and change, for the better,
while still remaining me.
But if i listen to all of your every complains and dissatisfaction with me.
make the "neccessary" changes, to be a "better man"
I would have long be perfect.
That's no where i wanna be.
Im imperfect.

Living in my world, my rules.
Thinking for you, i try my best.
Giving my all everyday.
Gonna stand tall,
gotta be free.
Just that the wild ocean whale that lives in me.
There are times when i need thee,
but there are times that you aint there.
Not to blame,
blame to Life.
There are times that i need peace,
but time and time,
peace lies far.
Savouring wine in a finely tuned glass,
I living my life laughing at hyennas,
crying like shores,
thinking like the wise sage,
but acting like a fool.
Realised,
all i need is none.
Transient,
Life is.
Understand,
humans cant.
Accept me,
as imperfect.

the day to remember

2006-08-09T20:41:00.000+08:00

Went to watch "The fast and the furious" with shenglong, maoqian and eugene today. I'm not well at all throughout the journey. My tears gave no way...

Been hurt by love again.
It's okay,
I'll just take it as part of growing up.
The person that just walked away,
has the smoke still lighted,
but the scent grew blant.

I'm not okay...
Been doing some recollection,
"Thank you," I must say to those that bruised me.
I wanna be optimistic,
to listen to rain all day,
and feel no sadness.

sadness is not a reason anymore...
It's not that I desire loneliness,
but everytime I've bigger share than everyone.
Even if you give me the world now,
all I'll have is still nothing.

I just want you in my life... nothing else..
I want happiness,
that allows me to sleep in peace every night.
Some souls feels warmth when they stop hugging one another,
lose hatred only when they left.
I should have long realised that.

I want you as my happiness
I want happiness,
not afraid to laugh without worries.
My heart is not warm,
everything's a lie.
Only my tears speak the truth.

You melt my heart.. and you drank it..
My decision was wrong/right.
I'm still unaware.

2006-08-08T19:26:00.000+08:00

Finally, celebration ends. No more rehearsals. Quite fucked up today by some of my friends. Always last minute cancel things and made my planning all messed up. Anyway, i'm not going to stay at home tml. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME OUT !!

Time check.
This marks one day without your voice.
How I miss you so,
how your voice will change everything I'm feeling right now.
How I wished I could tell you I love you right now,
and let you know I'll be alright.
I just need you.

fate

2006-08-07T18:46:00.000+08:00

Celebrating national day tml in sch. Quite excited about it but not as much as before. Perhaps this is my final year in the parade that brings the excitement. What i'm worrying now is the marching of my fellow scouties. They still sucks at marching. Haix. May god bless them tml.

Today is the final day of our 1 week agreement.. whatever the result is...

I believe for every heart that whispers in the dark,
there's a ray of light somewhere shining through.
It was sink,
or swim,
when the tide came in
I found myself when i found you.
I found the closest thing next to heaven.

Wanna bring it to you. Will I get that chance?

Emptiness

2006-08-06T19:15:00.000+08:00

As I sit here in front of the comp screen, listening to songs that i've listened hundred over times, I feel a sense of emptiness. I don't how I should put it. But felt that this past year, I've been living my life running around the race track, like I thought I'm moving forward but in fact, I'm not.

-[[ They say if you love something, let it go.

If it comes back, it's yours. That's how you know .]]-

Time let us meet and have our fates crossed.

Time separated us probably.

Time never let us forget the pain,

It only teaches us to live and get use to the pain. (._.)

Waiting endlessly.

2006-08-05T21:14:00.000+08:00

Although i was still sick this morning but i still attend the NDP rehearsal today =). But after the whole rehearsal, my body starts to burn... so hot.. and it broke my record with 39.1 degree celcius. Was lying on the bed for the whole day.. feeling much better now after the call.. =)).. but somehow i felt i did something wrong....

I know I'm far from perfect.
But like a child that needs a guiding hand,
can you stay here?
I've finally understand,
you've allways been the missing part,
complete the jigsaw puzzle of my heart.
Please hear me when I say.
You are all that I need
The only treasure i see
You're the air that helps me breathe.
Through the darkness, I went.
I'm all down on my knees,
I was blind but now I see.
You are that I need.
Please let me hear your voice again
let me hear you say your love will never end
that whatever it takes you'll be there
When I say,

You are all that I need.

I'm as blind as love is.

2006-08-04T18:55:00.000+08:00

Think abt it, having 5 test in a week, over a period of 3 days. What the hell. Had biology mock exam today. Was having a soccer game before the test today. With my shirt all wet, i went into the air-con room. Ok. Set aside being hot and cold for some moment, with not enough sleeping hours this few days, tests stress and relationship probs, i totally broke down when i reached home today. A fever of 38 degree celcius and terrible flu with a bad headache. I was there lying on the bed dying after dinner, until i saw her online and she prompt a chat with me. I crawl out of bed and begin chatting with her, half dead, and ended halfway. That was quite crap without me finishing what i want to say. Never mind, forget abt that.

I know i had been realising lots of things recently, but its good that i realised than not. I realised something just now during our chat again. I realised theres nothing much i can do now to win back her heart. I had used up all my powers and strengths, said whatever i can to gain back our confidence. But it doesn't makes any difference. Maybe to her now is to drag the time and keep me hanging, suffering, till i say to give up. But too bad, dont be sad, i wont. What i can do now is to stand still on the ground and not to do anything. Actually is not not to do anything, but cant do anything. Ultimately, the decision still lies in her. I'm just a puppet =(

I wouldnt let love lead the way,
if not for my own instincts.
Something is wrong,
and I know you are running away.

From me, because you are running
like an angel away from the devils behind her constantly.

Oh there's a slight difference between love and relationship.
I dont need the distinction made clear,
I just wished for you to realised it.

If I've done you wrong,
I should feel guilty.
But it's not me.
If I've hurt you,
I am really sorry.
I dont mean it.

But there are some things in myself,
that's radiating seriously from deep within.

I only know I love you.
And hope you face yourself.

i'll still be waiting..

2006-08-01T18:42:00.000+08:00

lets hope...

lets pray...

lets wish...

that we will walk back hand in hand..

to learn...

to live...

to love...

to be back to where we were..

to hope...

to pray...

to wish...

to go beyond the horizon is where we'll be..

lets learn...

lets live...

lets love...

let us stay as one till the end of time..

Give me your hand.. my dear..
Let me hold you tight once again..
And never to slip through my fingers..

I'll be waiting here... I will...
please dont leave alone... cux i really love you so..

2006-07-31T17:37:00.000+08:00

The weather hasn't been good since morning. Its been raining inconsistently till now, and the sky is still covered by thick clouds; as i expected, cux its a tradition.

Woke up so early today and cant get back to sleep. Many things flash through my mind while i'm awake, staring out to the sky. And i realised i have been giving so much but yet in the end i still got nothing. The things that i've done doesn't really meant anything to her.... and i feel that i've always been a fool.. i cried.

Although i'm deeply hurt, but i don't regret. Its an experience that i will remember for life and will forever stay in my memory.

If i could.. i will still wish.. we'll be back together again..
And i believe.. love can overcome everything..

btw.. today is the day niu lang and zhi nu meeting each other..

2006-07-30T17:03:00.000+08:00

Actually i just came back from camp this afternoon. Was feeling very good and prepared to share some of the stories here. But after settling some things, i think i don't have the mood to write any anymore..

And now, finally, everything settle. BREAK. Fine. A lot of people should be very happy abt it bahx.. Although its not easy to get over it.. but i'm not the one who initiate it. So i've got nothing to lose out. I know there'll still be shadows left over.. and its impossible to erase them off at once.

I'm still not in the mood to write anything now.. will elaborate more next time..

My door will still be open for u..

2006-07-25T18:05:00.000+08:00

Arghx. I injured my spine, left knee and elbow today. Wtf sia.

2006-07-23T18:45:00.000+08:00

We shall see the results after today... my fate.

2006-07-22T23:19:00.000+08:00

Ok. Its a perfectly fine day for me today..

Went to school in the morning for physics test. And still need to see the sickening face of the sickening physics teacher. After test then went for NDP rehearsal. Sianx, i'm marching with the flag for the 3rd year. But its alright, i'm proud with that =) . While having the rehearsal, i saw someone that made me heart skip a beat. =XX. The rehearsal ended around 1pm+. Then thought of having lunch with scouties, but all went home. In the end, i had lunch alone at home. Went mapling after lunch...

UNTIL, just now... when someone makes me so high up. A little tiny small, not young at all girl, who says i'm insane, dumbo, KID, and refused to tell me anything. WHAT THE FUCK. Its just like 1 and half hour before the day end, and should u be so cruel to SPOIL my beautiful day just like tat. =.= Anyway, before u could say anything, i've somehow guess what is it. And i know, i'm right always.

And i think i just realised something. After the whole incident just now, i sense a bad omen. Something is not right. Something is going to happen tml or in days.. something that will affect me, my life in future. I sense another huge wave coming towards me. Hope this wave wouldn't end everything. If its gonna, i hope it wont leave any trace in me. But its impossible.
Bless me. us.
please, don't leave me alone. =((

2006-07-18T21:52:00.000+08:00

WOOTX. Miss me recently? Hahax. Aiyah, somehow i still miss blogging. So decided to come back. LOL. Changing minds mahx.. no choice. Anyway, changed my blogskin ! I know a bit gay or girl-ish or watever lahx. But too bad its my blog, i like the skin.

Always look at the bright side. It'll be better.

2006-07-16T20:23:00.000+08:00

silence me --

last resort..

2006-07-11T18:31:00.000+08:00

HAH ! boring.. was so boring during lessons. although there was some fun here and there, but the 18 degree celcius air-con makes me sleepy. =.=

haix.. i realise i can't really write anything i like here. Things that will hurt ppl.. feelings that i can't really say out. If i do so, there'll be rain everynight. I felt so lonely at times.. that no one can share my feelings and thinkings. there's always no one beside me. family=always busy. friends-guys doesn't share feelings and thoughts between each other. lolx. so wat abt stead ? nahs.. tell u all something bahx. we've never went out with each other since abt 4-5 months ago. thats pathetic. even e time we spend chatting with each other are decreasing.. its always the waiting one who suffer more. let nature to take its course bahx.. haix.. just can't finish writing everything here.. yi yan nan jin. things changed. humans changed. life changed. My existance is not as important now.
My heart aches..
I think i'm deleting this blog or stop posting.. it serves no purpose anymore. I've decided. Unless you can make me change my mind. An online blog is still just a blog, u cant really write anything u like. personal and external restrictions. i dont find the purpose of everyone doing the same thing over and over again. I've read countless blogs.. most of them either wrote their daily dairy or dear here darling there.. =.= And i knew that my blog had always been so cold. unlike others, my post aren't as interesting, my tag's so quiet.. So, let us end everything here..

Perhaps this may be my last post, perhaps not. No one knows what will happen next. close ur eyes and open ur mind.. god bless.

I'm off. Bye all.
-JJ

2006-07-10T19:01:00.000+08:00

Wtf. Damn fuck up by the chinese oral today. Stupid examiner give me those xia lan face. When i'm talking just keep looking around.. so buay song dont be a teacher la.

On the way back home. Fuck that stupid bag. My bag snapped while crossing the road. still got to HUG the bag home. tml i'm going to carry all the books to sch. stupid bag. i'm gonna burn it.

Just now. fuck up by those who blocks ppl. Take out ur balls and come talk la. Don't just hide and keep quiet. Dare to jio dont dare to face me ? fuck urself and die la.

what a fucking day.

2006-07-08T21:26:00.000+08:00

WOOHOO ! Went to URA centre yestersday after the english test after school. Quite a great place. FUN!

...

Went to sch in the morning today for the stuid chemistry test. After that stupid test, still got the stupid talk. YESS. Really a stupid talk. Waste of time and energy. Regret for going cux didn't talk attendence. Went for lunch at RP and back home. While the others went for their project, cux i'm not involve. BUT, in the end all ended up at my house =.= /

Went cycling with sl after that. Went to lots of places. wOO.

Monday O'lvl Chinese oral for me !!! OH MANNXX>> Gagagax. Bye for now.. Nitex.

2006-07-04T21:58:00.000+08:00

OH !!! What's happening to the weather ?? I'M HOT !!!!!!!!!!!

2006-07-01T22:06:00.000+08:00

EHHH. A fine day. Went sch early in the morning 8am for physics test. Quite stupid to have a test on saturday. Sianx. Anyway, 99.99% not passing the test. LOL. Test for an hour then went to do another stupid thing. Social studies project. =.= Don't know whats happening to the school humanities department. Need to do presentation for both social studies and history. I don't know what for. =/

At around 4pm today, i did something quite crazy. I tried gave someone a surprise. But i think she's not surprised. =.= Poor me for a bit more to die from exhaustion.

No school on monday ! Yay ! Hope don't have to stay at home again. Let's pray hard.

2006-06-29T21:22:00.000+08:00

Things in this world that people won't think of ; but i will
Things in this world that people won't feel of ; but i will
Things in this world that people may think it's impossible ; but it happened for one reason:
no one believes it.
People may regret for what they did, but never change a single bit.
Disappointed. =((
haix.

Aiya. Lets come back for some happy stuffs =) . Lolx. The school has finally did something quite right this time. Air-conditional room for all graduating classes ! yay. Hahax. You gonna see me having running-nose starting from tml. I'm prone to coldness. =Xx

Things that may be nothing to you but meant a lot to me...

2006-06-28T17:15:00.000+08:00

3rd day of school, still in holiday mood. duh. Chinese O's oral is just round the corner. 10th of july for me. Mannx. I need to do well in the oral and listening compre cux i dont really have much confidence on the papers. Really hope can get a distinction for my chinese, if not, dead. My family until now none got a below A2 for chinese. Stressed.

Everyday seems fine now. But tests and more lesson are coming along. 10 more weeks to prelims.

Again, not in a good mood. A kind of depression.

2006-06-24T23:56:00.000+08:00

Yo ! I'm back posting again. Miss me ? LOLx.

Anyway, tml is the last day of sch holiday. Didn't really have much fun this holiady. A boring one. Its time to get everyting back to normal. =/

2006-06-18T16:23:00.000+08:00

=) i'm back blogging. Long since i last really blog. hmm.. not really enjoying this holiday. 2 weeks only, yet i did nothing. Pieces of work left blank, pen untouched. Lots of time wasted for some things that i knew nothing will repay for the time i waited. Today is the last day of holiday for me and i know the days ahead will be a tough time. My aim has been blurred for those foolish thinkings of mine. Every weekend, staying at home alone , waiting. But what i accomplished is a stack of undone work. Aiya, in the end, i'm still the stupid one.

Well, i'm now crawling on a hot pot, struggling through the days. As the saying goes: In the middle of any difficulty, lies an opportunity. Hmm.. wont be blogging for some time due to tons of owed work. I'll be back here when i'm free.

I'm tired but i won't give up. =D

2006-06-16T23:53:00.000+08:00

tonight.. will be a beautiful night.. =)

2006-06-15T19:07:00.000+08:00

LOLX>< Pics uploaded !
Take a look at the profile !!

2006-06-14T23:58:00.000+08:00

BACK FROM GENTING ! SLEEP TIME.

2006-06-11T03:17:00.000+08:00

Oh manxx !!! Didn't blog for last few days. Cux really nothing much. Just boring days. Study... gaming.. sporting.. Sianx. Was thinking so much recently. I realised i'm losing faith in myself after being 'flew' so many times. Haix. Lets no talk abt that anymore.

Ok. In a few hours time, i will be on my way rotting to genting ! LOL. Gagagax.. wait for my return.. BYES

2006-06-04T22:44:00.000+08:00

10 days of suffering..

2006-06-02T14:52:00.000+08:00

Another post for today.

Went sch for lessons till 12.30pm. Actually theres still another important chemistry lesson till 1.30. But i pon cause i have something on. Sneak out of class and rush home after lessons immediately for the meet. But a call that cancel everything. wtf. Spoil my thought-to-be a wonderful day. Didn't had my lunch cause my i told my mum i won't be eating a home, so she didn't cook for me =( . So didn't eat anything from morning till now - 3pm - , and i'm not eating for today. Let it be a slimming lesson (although i'm a little bit to underweight). Not in the mood to eat anyway. Don't know what to do now. Thought of delivering something for someone, but the person is SO busy that 5mins is a never-spare.

Thats it till now. Byes.

2006-06-02T13:47:00.000+08:00

Everything that can be done has been done. It's time to wait and see.

No matter how much patience a person can have, he still has got his limits. So don't test mine. Whatever you do, whatever you want, whatever you wish, whatever your decision is, i suits. But please, don't always take it for granted. There'll be one of these days i don't suits. That'll be the day you'll lose me. And i mean it.

24 hours per day, 7 days a week. I just need 5mins from you. Just 5 mins. But it seems that i don't even worth 5mins of your time.

I'm stepping out of myself.

2006-05-31T17:21:00.000+08:00

I'm stupid today.

Nan dao wo men wei yi neng shuo de zhi you dao qian de hua ma..

2006-05-30T22:11:00.000+08:00

Why is there always something stuck along the way... i have a feeling that, something is keeping from me.

2006-05-29T23:29:00.000+08:00

Still haven recover from my cough yet. Haix. Tml's english oral die for sure. =(

I miss you..

2006-05-28T15:05:00.000+08:00

CHINESE O-LEVELS !!

2006-05-27T19:24:00.000+08:00

Not in a very good mood.

2006-05-26T18:46:00.000+08:00

Took back our report book today. Although i do not need to meet-the-parents, but my results are atrocious. I don't know why. Maybe i didn't really put in enough effort. But i've really tried my best. And no matter how hard i tried, just that my results are bad, i'm grounded by my parents. Maybe what they want is for me to study 24/7.

I'm really disappointed by everything, everyone. Losing confidence in myself.. No one knows me....

suffering day..

2006-05-25T16:31:00.000+08:00

Arghx. I'm worsening. Haix.. this morning during assembly i was coughing till my nose bleeds. Wat the hell. Xia si wo le.

Was coughing and sniffing throughout lesson till i get fed up and wanna jump down. Luckily my friend stop me. LOLX. (The jumping part was just kidding) . After sch, RAIN. Wtf... no choice have to walk with the acidic rain. Now, i'm hot and cold. having high fever and damn headache. 38.5 degree celsius. Ahhhh... which means now i'm suffering from fever plus cough plus running-nose andd headache. Arghx. What's wrong !? Recently, i just realised that my body is weakening. I get sick easily. Most probably is because i didn't even care to see a doctor when i get sick. Medicine-free person. LOLx. I'm not as rich. Thats why i still attend sch. Terrible day.. terribly ill..

I'm sweating... shivering.. i see no one..

2006-05-24T19:04:00.000+08:00

* Cough.. cough* .. Kaox. Had a bad cough now. My throat hurtx. Nose at cross-country. Help me !! Feeling terrible. Too bad, i'm not seeing a doctor cux i still wans go sch. =) Can't afford to miss any lessons now.

Ah, coughing too hard to type. Ending here. Byex. *COUGHH... *

terrible day without ur sight..

2006-05-22T19:23:00.000+08:00

WoOts. Crappy weather today. First half of the day, panting sweat. Next half, ah-chewing. What the hell. Actually a bit sick niax.. now lehx, become damn sick. Haix. Don't know why this few days seems so boring. Nothing interesting. Thats why i blog everyday. Sianx mah. Has been mapling for the last few days. Maple is getting more interesting BUT the players all suck cock. Kiddos now adays.. haix.. LOLX>< .

Hmm.. next monday is chinese O- level. I'm not sure if i'm really prepared. I wish i could do well for this.

I'm feeling so lonely.. there seems no difference made.. so what if..

BORED

2006-05-21T20:57:00.000+08:00

I'M SERIOUSLY BORED ! What the... theres no one..

Next week is damn crazy. From monday chinese test till thursday. Everyday ! Kaox. But i think thats good. Gonna prepare myself well for the incoming Chinese Os. Aiming for A1. Possible ? Hope so. Hahax.

Sleep early everyone. Tml is monday ! Schooling again.. Nitex all.

Not feeling very well now. Sickening hell.

Another lonely sunday.. haix..

2006-05-20T21:58:00.000+08:00

LOLOLOLOL !!! Damn boring now sooooo thought of coming here to post. Hmm.. looks like its been a longlong time since i talk cock. Shall we have a talking cock lesson today ? Wahahax.. hao bahx.. since u nodded your head we'll have a talking cock lesson today !! Happy ? If happy then must smile kx ? SMILE ! LOL ! Tell u a secret kx ? I'm really kan bo liaox. So, don't really listen to my craps. But, if u wan listen also can lahx. Hahax. Don't angry kx ? Not good for health de. I know, i know, i know. I know i'm lame lahx, but no attention seeking kx ? Just bored. Tell me tell u a story kx ? Its the story of " My Today Life". LOLX. Excited ? I know you exited lahx. But try not to be too excited and nervous kx ? Later pee on your pants then, haix, ur mum gonna wash more clothes. Wahahax. Joking only lahx. Don't take it too serious kx ? Lolx. I know you very goody won't mind de lahx, hor ? Hahax. Oh yah, i almost fogot abt my story. ok i shall start here. Erh.. erhm.. Once upon a time, there lived a... and they live happily ever after !! Nice story ?? LOLX !! Jux kidding, thats not the life of my today. Wahahax. Think abt it, how can it be the life of my story start with once apon a time ? LOLXX... kx lahx.. relax kx ? Don't get too tense up. But if u wish to click on the red icon at the top right-hand corner of the screen, you may do so.. T_T ... See laarr... heex. I know you really really very goody de lah hor ? Won't be so mean to me right ? Although i dunno who you are right now who is reading my post, but i'll still treat you as on of my precious guest. Happy ? Wahahax.. i know you happy lahx. But don't smile too much kx ? Later cheek cramp then still need go see doctor waste money. Save up the money and give me a treat la. Lolx. Aiyah, okok.. enough of crappy stuffs.. LOLX Actually i still don't feel that its enough, i actually came for a purpose. Which is.. broke my last record of longest CRAP post ! Wahahax. Relax. Try taking a walk around your house and come back to continue be cause this won't be a short post. LOLxx. I was wondering is there any word limit for posting ? Hahax. But i think dont have lahx, so its ok for me to opst a looooong post. Excited once again ? Relax a bit, you might feel better relaxing. Hmm.. too much words on screen needs a lot of focusing, so it might stressed out your eyes too much. Try taking a 5mins for your precious eyes yea ? K... faster go... TAH DA ! Back. WoOts. Think its time to continue the story of today. Ohyah hor, i haven start how to continue lehx ? CRAPS ! Hahax. Okokokok... i'll start now. Hmm.. today mahh.. not bad lahx. Although what i plan to do was unsuccessful... =( .. But its ok. Finally i made a decision to go for scouts today because of a reason. So i went, and wtf. Don't tell you why =P. After scoutie went CP for lunch at Yoshinoya, after that back home. And sians time begins. Cool ? Interesting right ? LOLX.. You think everyone like you mahx ? So xin fu.. Haix. Not you lahx.. Its you !!! I'm not sure if i had enough of my craps. But i think i'll end here liao lahx.. quite tired after typing so much craps. You know it kills a lot of brain cells thinking of craps and type it out ? Hahax. But really bo liao mahx.. quite tired actually. Haix. I wanna get myself out of the house tml !!! please i beg... can anyone grant my small little tiny wish ? Silence means consent. And yar, i'm not a robot ! I'm superman. I mean not the superman in the cartoons. Its my own unique Super-Man. LOLX =.=.=.=.=.= =D Wahahax. Super duper lazy big fat tiny small piglet ! HMPH ! LOLX !!! See ? I can predict reactions ! I know thats gay. Hahax. Aiya, going to sleep liaox. Its tiring doing this.. gonna sleep early. BYES. GOOD NIGHT.

2006-05-19T21:55:00.000+08:00

AHHHH !!!!! Tml scoutie resume.. SHLD I GO OR NOT GO ??? gagagagagahhxxx... actually i'm not supposed to go anymore cux of Os, BUT they still call me go.. THENNN... my parents dun let... WTH... How ?!?!? BUTT.. i still can't let down of some things.. How ?!?!?

I'm in a messed. My results is still not what i want. How ?? Help me !!!

2006-05-17T19:44:00.000+08:00

Haix. i've saved the previous post as draft.. maybe this will be better. Let unpleasant things go away, and look out for a brighter future. To forgive and forget is the best i could do. What else can i do ?

Went ice-skating with yuanhao, sihao and matthew today... still quite fun overall.. but my mind is still stuck on.. didn't really skate well.. But i improved a lot today ! wahahax.. fall down abt 5 times.. all thanks to those pros and noobs. Almost my whole jeans went wet.. the worse is when i slide and fall.. half of my body is soak. Now, leg cramp.. stupid sia.. my poor kneecap now filled with blue-black, fall a few times on the same place. Pain.. can't really walk properly now. But, who cares ?

Tml back to sch days again.. Sianxxxxxxxxx.. i don't want to go back to that stupid sch. Haix.. jux bear with it, in a few months time i will be out of that sch !! ( hope so) I can predict that my results wont be wat i desire for this exam.. this time the papers overall is still quite hard.. haix. i don't wish to fail any.

May everyone be blessed for a better results; except me.

2006-05-15T23:52:00.000+08:00

I'm dying of boredness ! What a long day today is. Early in the morning went for practical exam. Mix here mix there in the end i realised i got all the answers wrong ! T_T haix.. poor me gonna fail practical. Then wait at the lecture for 4 HOURS. wat the hell. i'm wondering how did i past that. Released at 1.30 then went for lunch and back home. Online till now. =.=

Tml will be another day-at-home. Sianxx... cux of that i rejected this. Cux of this, i most probably will remain at home. Gagagahx. Tml will be another rotting day for me. Furthermore, i predicted wed will be a decomposing day. Lolx.. history gonna repeat itself.

Can someone get me out of this house ? Haix.

2006-05-14T22:59:00.000+08:00

Just format my comp not long ago. Now its CLEAN absolutely. wahahax. Which means I can upload things from my phone liaox.. !! LOL =D

Sad case is, I'M HAVING A DAMN HEADACHE NOW. Wth. My head is cracking... crack..

And the stupid practical exam tml ! Actually we are supposed to be released at 9.30am tml. BUT, because we are the first shift, so we need to be retain till 1.30pm. Wtf mannx. 4 HOURS of bo liaox. Gagagaahhx.

Gonna go sleep now. Still need report at 7.45am tml. Sianxxx.. Nitex.

2006-05-14T01:07:00.000+08:00

Gagagagahxx... its 1.05am now.. Haix. Can't get to sleep cux i woke up at 2pm today. No one call me up. lolx. Its a boring boring day !! from the time i woke up online till now. 43mins to 12hours. hahax.

i going sleep liao lahx. if not panda eyes again. lolx.. anyway, i've already got it. so makes not much difference. Nitex, everyone. Byes !

2006-05-11T21:41:00.000+08:00

FUCK THAT IDIOTIC BASTARD SHIT. YOU KNOW WHO U ARE FUCKER. YOU CALL URSELF A GUY ? MAKE SURE YOU GET STRUCK BY LIGHTNING ONE OF THESE DAYS.

DAMN TUUUU LAANNNN. KAOX !! CAN'T CONTROL MY ADRENALINE NOW. OUT OF CONTROL ! REALLY DAMN FUCK UP SIA.. JUST FINISH EXAM HOPE CAN GET SOME REST THEN GIVE ME THIS KIND OF SHIT. GRRRR... I'M NOT GOING TO CARE OR DO ANYTHING. WHATEVER U CHOOSE IS YOUR PROB. I'M NOT IN THE MOOD TO APOLOGISE OR WAT. ANYWAY, IF U THINK ITS REALLY THAT SERIOUS THEN JUST FUCKIT. GIVE URSELF A CHANCE, GIVE THAT FUCKING ISIOTIC BASTARD SHIT A CHANCE. UNDERSTAND ? I'M NOT WORTH IT. BELIEVE WHATEVER.

GRR !! I NEED SLEEP !! FOR 2 WEEKS. 3-4HOURS OF SLEEP PER DAY. WTF. NOW SHIT. SLEEPLESS ! WHAT CAN I DO ?!?! FUCK MYSELF AND DIE ! THEN U HAPPY, EVERYONE HAPPY. HAPPY ?!?

FUCKED UP LIFE !
its raining now..

(sry for too much vulgarities, just trying to vent out some things)

2006-05-10T17:36:00.000+08:00

Woohoo ! Hahax. Finally sia.. gonna finish all the papers soon ! Now only left with practical and MCQ. Lolx.. i don't care liaox.. not gonna study for that.

Haix. sad case is, the A-Maths papers are 100% FAIL. Lolx. Biology also high chances of failing. How ?!

Whatever i do, i have my reasons. Being threatened by ppl or i do no harm. To believe or not its up to u. There's many things in the world that i don't wish to do, but sometimes its just rushed. And a "ah shit". But too late. I've fallen into the trap of others. Scheming ppl do scheming things. Just a slipped and u're down. I've finished what i want to say. Whatever u want to believe its urs. Since its history, let bygones be bygones. I'm sorry.

2006-05-07T14:49:00.000+08:00

Gahhhh !! Had a terrible horrible night. Wtf sia.. stupid stomach stupid nose stupid SKIN ! Kaox.

Today is SUNDAY ! Means tml exam again !!! Sianxx... I don't feel like studying anymore.. 6 more papers to go plus practical. WTH. Still need study till 15th May sia... ENDURE !

Oh manx... gonna go for me history and physics now... BYEs
Oh yar. I'M FLOODING WITH OIL ! LOL !

mid-year 2006

2006-04-27T18:25:00.000+08:00

Tml's the first paper for mid-year !!! Time flies huh ? It's so fast since the last exam.. Dont really have the feeling of examination yet... haix..

how i wish...

fucking prefects

2006-04-24T20:41:00.000+08:00

Damn tu lan today. Really fucked up by this sch with those idiotic prefects. So you happy now that we didn't have the books ? Then you can get top in lvl cause we cant study ? BULLSHIT ! Cause of getting on ur job so betray ur friends ? wtf ?!?

This sch is getting worse. Confiscate our books and wan us to do well in exams ? So wat if we planned out a timetable to study ?

haix.. dont wish to continue blogging... nitex..

Boring !!

2006-04-23T21:41:00.000+08:00

Boring Boring !!! A rotting day.

Just read some comp history just now. Yar, i was wrong. I realised that many things are so different from before.

What i've learnt - A new start is always the best and memorable. To start a relationship is just like cracking a nut. To maintain it, its holding the sky.

Nitex. May everyone be blessed.

yoyo

2006-04-22T19:59:00.000+08:00

Losing my interest in blogging. But not to worry, i'll still blog. Hahax. (=

Yesterday's biology mock exam is gone-case. Haix. Had my NAPFA today. I just don't understand why i can't jump far. How i wish i could fly !! LOLX. Next friday will be the first paper for mid-year. Wish everyone gd luck.

Nothing much.

sleep early bahx.. nitex.

2006-04-20T19:08:00.000+08:00

Tml biology mock exam !! And i'm still sitting here blogging. LOL. Boring.. boring. I'm in deep shit this time, cux i still haven started studying yet. Haix. Don't really feel like studying. I'm worn-out everyday. Even weekends need for to study for monday or tuesday tests. 200+ more days to the end of suffering. Just kill me now.

I just discovered something. I've neglected someone so important.. i'm sry.

so different

2006-04-17T21:10:00.000+08:00

Its so different from yesterday. 180 degrees turn. How can it possibly be. Haix. A call from yesterday and today.

back blogging

2006-04-15T22:29:00.000+08:00

Yo ! I'm back blogging..

Quite a long weekend this time. Hmm.. actually not really that long - only one more day. =.= Lolx..

Monday-friday. Just pure schooling days with much fun.. so nothing interesting. Just facing those teachers everyday.

Yesterday was simply quite boring. Was on the comp when my cousin called me for a movie - ice-age 2. So went to watch with my lil cousin and budds. To me, the show is rated under 12. LOL. Not really that interesting.. childrens' show. Quite a wasteful of my $9.30. Haix. Went lan-gaming after that till abt 8pm+ then went to stay overnight at my cousin's house. Too lazy to go home. Hahax. But, in the end found out that my house is still the best. lolx. Went back home today at around evening time. And now, sitting here blogging.

Tml's Easter day. Not my bussiness. lolx. Anyway, tml is going to be a special day. But, haix.. think i'm going to be lonely.

Cya next week, most probably. Sleep early yea ? Nitex. Byes.

nothing interesting

2006-04-09T19:20:00.000+08:00

NOTHING INTERESTING.

rainy day..

2006-04-03T18:02:00.000+08:00

Rain, rain, rain.. haiyo.. these few days keep on raining. Haix. It gives me a bad omen. Whenever there's heavy rain, things won't go smoothly. I hope this time it'll be different. But deep down i still feel something that is truely wrong.. just wait and see bahx.

Anyway, tests is killing me. EVERY WEEK. Kaox. And the sch with the stupid golden jubilli concert. Really stupid sia. Waste money, waste time. Although its from edusave, but still money right ? S$17 lehx for a stupid concert. This sch is getting worse.

Tml there will be 2 tests. A-maths and history. Both sux. Haix. Gd luck to me and everyone. Gonna study. Byes.

April FOOL

2006-04-01T21:44:00.000+08:00

Haiya. Feeling uneasy all over me. Something is amiss. Haix. Maybe just not enough rest this few days or what. Aiyah. dont care so much le. Gonna sleep early today.

Ohyah. Happy fooling others !
Nitex.

tests

2006-03-31T19:36:00.000+08:00

TESTS TILL U GO CRAZY !

changi beach camp

2006-03-27T18:09:00.000+08:00

Yo ! Hahax. Its another newie week. sianx rite. But no choice life still has to go on. Anyway, the camp was quite fun throughout.

The camp started off at friday night. I reached sch at abt 11pm+ and study physics there with yuanhao till 12am+. Lolx.. quite crazy. Woke up at 5am+ the next morning by the stupid sec1s ! wtf mannx. Crazy freaks. Tell them to wake up at 7am and fall-in by 7.30. And these freaks woke up at 5.30am. Haix. Had my physics test at 7.30am-8.30am then joined back. Set off at abt 10am+ to our starting point- National Stadium. From there, we were split into patrols and carry on to our own checkpoint. ST. ANDREWS COMMUNITY HOSPITAL, thats our first. Omgosh. I will never forget where is it for my whole lifetime. Thats the worse hospital i've ever seen in my life till now. Next, Expo ! WTH. Its far far far. We need to walk from Bedok Mrt station to Tanah Merah then to Expo station. Kaox. BUT, heeheex... =X.. Reached Expo and slack there for awhile.. air-con mahx. Ate my Ruffles and big gulp.. woOtx.. shh. =X. Then next, Changi beach. Haix. Quite nice there, although its sandy everywhere. Built our shelter, dinner, wash-up and sleep at around 2am+. Tired ! Just a blink, MORNING ! Its nice. The fantastic feeling of sunrise in front of u when u just woke up. PT, INSPECTION, breakfast, back home ! hmm..

Actually i took some photos over the trip but, haix, due to some technical problems, i cant upload it to my comp. Wait for me to fix bahx. Bye for now. BYES !

friday

2006-03-24T15:36:00.000+08:00

Finally friday. YOU KNOW WHAT. Later scoutie training-hike camp.. T_T till sunday afternoon. wtf sia. haix. tml still have the physics test. gd luck to me. no mood to type anymore. byes

mess

2006-03-21T17:54:00.000+08:00

MESSED !

changing skin !

2006-03-19T00:13:00.000+08:00

Wahax ! LOL.. changing my current skin soon.. cux i've found a new skin ! hahax. Stay tune for it~

Last few days..

2006-03-15T17:21:00.000+08:00

YOyo ! I'm back here. Whats wrong with this few days huh ?.. just feeling weird.. don't have the feel of holiday.. haix..

Friday, 10 March
Just a stupid day ! Last day of the term, first day of the camp. =.= Lots of ppl were late for the camp, so can't do much at the beginning. The school was abnormally eerie this time. Weird
things happened, everyone wasn't feeling very good. But things still need to get on. Haix. SENTRY DUTY ! The worse part. Its just us, this pathetic batch to do everything. Haix. For almost every camp, its us to do this stupid duty. But it also brought us together. Actually we were supposed to take turns, but we are use to all for one, so usually we will do all together and no exception for this time. Hahax. Its fun actually, we talk craps throughout and do funny stuffs.. hahax.. but just this kind of stupid stuffs that built our memories. We were supposed to do till 4am.. hehee.. luckily we were clever enough to sleep at 3am... cux everyone were sleeping le mahx.. shhh.. hahax.

Saturday, 11 March
Slept for 3 pathetic hours to wake up at 6am.. wash-up, flag raising, breakfast and chiong ah ! LOLX. I wasn't happy with the planning by the ventures. My patrol was thrown to yishun and they supposed us to earn there. Just 2 blocks and its impossible. I'm fed up and went back sengkang. Met up with Bryan and Sihao at cp and went back sch together at abt 5+. -Slacking time- Hahax. Wash-up and rest. And yar, we did something crazy again. HAHAX. We went field-cooking at 11pm+ ! LOLX.. Crazy enough. All thanks to SOMEONE horx. I'm sure that someone will read this and will go "hmph!* hmph!* hmph!*" LOLX ! True enough ? hahax. soon after we recieved one horrible terrible news. WE HAD TO DO SENTRY DUTY AGAIN ! Oh pls. We are human too, we need rest, we need sleep. But this time we decided to go against. Luckily, we were given sleep. Hmm.. U know something... we slept at staff room.. shh.. hahax.

Sunday, 12 March
YOH. Anther terrible day ! Gagax.. Our flag-raising supposed to start at 7.15am. And we wake up at 7.10am. LOLX. Stupid Bryan with his dreams. Hahax. So we rush up and change and chiong down for flag-raising in 5mins time.. without washing up.. hahax. After that went for breakfast. And WTF, worse today.. My patrol been posted to Potong Pasir.. I'm damn buay song liaox.. but still no choice.. i still need listen to the instruction. Haix. So went there with Yuanhao's patrol. Just as i expected, 1km radius only had 37 blocks. The others are all terrance houses.. haix. In the end, met up with bryan and sihao with their their patrol for lunch. So we came out with a plan call " Great Leap Forward" or " the Long March " HahaX ! Found it farmiliar ? Hahahax.. We chiong through the bungalow area at Serangoon there and end up dunno at where. The bungalows there are really marvelous.. first time in my life i saw such big houses.. somehow close to mansion.. went back sch and dismissal. Haix. As i said, we are the pathetic batch. So, cleaning up also we do.

Monday, 13 March
Waha ! sleeping day. slacking day. Slept till 3pm ! lolx.. wake up by a call from my darling. Hahax. Not bad. Had my combined breakfast-lunch and slack liaox. quite a boring day.

Tuesday, 14 March
Whats wrong with today huh ?! lolx.. a weird day. Went do project at 11am for abt an hour+.. then went back home online. then later go out to cp again for lunch and study with Wendy. Quite weird huh. Back home at 6+ then do nothing.

Today mahx..quite ok lahx. An interesting day.. meet up with darling after her lesson then went cp.. hahax. Do some crappy stuffs.. then went home lers.. Haix. So troubled with that idiotic fucking irritating ass guy. Just another crazy bastard.. really dunno lahx.. haix.. headache sia.. one after another.. When will this end ? lolx.. go sleep le lahx.. hope all of you enjoy this post.. Thank You. Hahahahax.. Nitx all !!

back finally

2006-03-12T22:48:00.000+08:00

Aiyo. Just the same as last time lahx. TIRED. SLEEPY. Nitex.

CAmp~~

2006-03-10T16:26:00.000+08:00

Gagaax.. ! Going Scoutie de job-week camp later.. quite stupid right. Assemble at 7pm... =.= . then dunno do wat till tml morning then go for job-week. Anyway, its plan by ventures. =.= Haix. Till sunday evening then back home. Won't be much fun by ventures, i guess. Hahax.

Ending here.
-JJ

longlong day.

2006-03-07T17:50:00.000+08:00

haix.. today sports day. We lost.. but not surprised. hmm.. soo tired now.. but...

I feel that there are things that are kept beyond me. Maybe these are just some things that i shld not know. but deep down in my heart, i wish to know everything, anything. No matter it makes me sad or happy, i just wish to know. Cux i tend to find out things myself before ppl can tell me.

I feel a lot, observe a lot. Things that i've predicted seems to happen everytime. And i'm afraid of that, one terrible day..

7 days in a week. Monday- friday schooling. Sat scouts. Left sunday. Whats wrong with time ?! Its just not enough for my usage.

There's a lot i wish to say. Somethings that can't be expressed in words.

shadows.

2006-03-04T17:12:00.000+08:00

Shadows of the past floating around.. when will it disappear.. no one knows.. till u can change one day.. and explain everything..

Haix. I just found out that i'm lost here. My 16th year on this earth. And now at this part of my life, i'm lost. I just didn't know what to do. Don't feel like studying, don't feel like doing anything. Why ?!? I just can't figure it out, yet no one could be here to help me. I don't know what to do the next second, just thinking of things to every second. And i know, i'm leading a sad life, and i'm along the way. My heart and soul is not with me.

This blog sucks. Cux i can't type chinese. =.= It appears weird things.

Sianx. i feel like dying. But i don't want to die. I still got an unaccomplish mission.

Just SMILE =)

Life

2006-03-03T16:34:00.000+08:00

Life seems boring-er than ever. Everyday now, its just the same routine. BORING. Nothing special right now. I don't know why, its just so different le.. I really miss the lower sec days.. with the e4rians playing all around. Now, everyday after sch is either go home study or stay at sch slack. Nothing interesting. Staring at the comp now, don't know what to do. No games interest me anymore. Maybe some mapling a while or so, then dunno what to do again.

Study, sianx. ZZzz. It sucks lahx. People wishing that O-levels can finish quickly, then can do whatever they want. lolx. I was thinking, what to do after Os ? Find a job ? slack ? hahax.. when time comes then think. For now, study and study. Monday to friday. Sat, Scouts, Slack. Sunday, out, no where go, boring, penniless. Hahax.

Slack, slack, slack. Study, study, study. Tests, tests, tests. Fail, fail fail. Sianx, sianx, sianx. Stress, stress, stress. Isn't this the life of a sec4 student ? Hahax.. maybe u're different.. i don't know..

Tml after Scouts chemistry lesson. But i thinking my thinkings are different now. Perhaps influence my my friends. Its not kaox or sianx again. I just feel that, thats good. Hahax.. surprised ? I wish i could score better. I don't want anymore re-test again ! So i'm going to work harder. Haix. But i know i'll need to spend more time on that. That ?!?

Hmm.. also nothing much to blog during this time. So, won't be blogging as much le. Cux its just the same.. if there's anything special, i'll update here. And smile =D... u'll feel better. Ending here liaox.. wait for my next post.. i promise it'll be more interesting.. I just think my blog is boring. hahax. If there's any comments just tag ahead. I'll make changes. Byes

Fucked up life. Penniless boy.. =.=

Death

2006-03-01T18:15:00.000+08:00

I'll die one day.

Whatever is wrong !

2006-02-23T16:35:00.000+08:00

Haix. Problems just seems to goes on one after another. Everything is linked. Whatever i do is wrong wrong wrong. When can i be right ? After watching the show " I Not Stupid Too", i feel that a lot seems to be the same. When my parents nag, it just came out from the other ear. Most of the time is "emm", "ahh", "orh". lolx. How i hope there is hostel at sch for us. That will be the best. Hahax.

I failed most of my tests. I don't know why I become like this. I just can't study thoroughly. To me, just flipping through the books and thats it. But i know thats not what i want. The problem is : I want an ideal room. And i know thats impossible.

Tml and sat will be busy. Tml after sch then chinese test. After test straight go stadium. Ohya. i'm running for CCA relay - Scouts. lolx. I think top 3 is not for us. Hahax. And my leg still haven't fully recover yet, swollen still =.= . But i don't care so much lahx. Just run for the best. After the hits, then go Mrs Chong house. Still not sure go there for what. Hahax. People tell me go then go lohx. Saturday is a crash. Scouts' Rally and geography field trip. Kaox. Which 1 to go ? Both also whole day... Scouts' Rally is 1 time a year and maybe this year is my last. But geography trip is no second. How ?!? Gagagax.. I both also want go !!

This goes to those stupid idiotic asshole fucking bastard irritating irritants ( naming them ruins my blog) :
I tell u ppl. I'm enough of those stupid things and craps. Don't let me get any. I won't let off easily. I'm high and to create trouble. I don't give a damn on how big u are, what u can do, you want touch my girl, pass me.

And you ! my silly girl, don't always think u sucks and nothing for them.. =.= U'll be shocked.

Ending here.
-JJ

Sprained leg

2006-02-21T19:51:00.000+08:00

Ahhh... !! Kaox ! Today sprained my leg during PE lesson. Worse ever sia. Fucking pain.. lolx. Just recovered from the fall of the tower and now, sprained leg. Haix. But, i'm superb... hahax.. today after sch, i still went to Scout's HQ at bishan ! Lolx.. one of the main reason is.... gagagax.. shh. Went back home with much difficulty... then went to see the chinese doctor liaox. Worse part. You shld know... so don't say liaox.. bad memory. Hahax..

Tml Scouts' Day ! Omgosh. And i'm in this manner. But luckily i can still wear full-uniform ! Hehex.. Gd luck to me and wish me get well soon.. thx. LOLX. K lahx.. going sleep liaox.. byes.

New skin =D

2006-02-20T22:35:00.000+08:00

Hahax.. tired of the last skin.. so change a new one. Simple. Nice. Hahax.. pls give some comments.. thx..
nitex.

Nice sunday~

2006-02-19T20:55:00.000+08:00

WoOtx. Today went to watch "I Not Stupid Too" with my darling.. hahax.. quite a nice show =D. Somemore, got ppl hor.. cry cry cry.. LOLx.. but actually its really quite touching lahx.. hahax..

NORMAL day... =.=

2006-02-18T21:13:00.000+08:00

Just a normal saturday with scout activities and home slacking. Nothing special.. haix. i'm not angry or what, but disappointed. I cancel my meetings with my friends, didn't go for ventures de chalet, nothing for lunch and dinner. jux because i booked my day for her. lolx.. thats it for today. happy birthday to me myself.. i'm 16. sadx.
nitex all.

tml's a special day ?!

2006-02-17T21:31:00.000+08:00

YOH ! hahax.. finally tests week is over !! BUT, i gonna fail almost all.. most probably.. haix. Still can't concentrate and study lehx... i've tried hard.. how ? Haix.. nvm nvm.. its ok.. i will work hard !!

Muahahax.. !! You know wat.. someone told me not to tell anyone that tml's MY BIRTHDAY.. omgosh.. i think i've accidentally said it out.. shh.. don't tell anyone kx ? LOLx. Hmmm... how i wish i could have a pair of asics shoes... new sch bag ( its terribly torn).. a new wallet.. new comp.. new house.. new sch.. a new world. =)) Hahax.. just kidding lahx.. i'm not that kind of person who will ask for present de.. HUH ?!?! is that so ? hahax.. its fake lahx.. !! lolx.. What i want for my birthday is just you.

Valentines'

2006-02-14T22:35:00.000+08:00

Hahax. Today's Valentines'. Wish everyone had a happy time with their love ones.
Cheers.
I cant feel the heart in here..
haix.
i'll still be loving..

Sleepy.

2006-02-13T17:51:00.000+08:00

Haix. Another new week. Tired ! I wish i could sleep more. LOLx. Quite a few days since i last blog.

Last saturday was horrible. Quite a stupid golden jubilli. Go sch early in the morning then call us watch the concert. Luckily i was at the scouts booth. Oh ya. thats our 50th anniversary. WOW. big huh ? Gave us kachan puteh =.= Hmm.. then something bad happened later on. At the end of the whole thing, we thought of taking a photo with the tower that we built. So, some of us get up and some remain on ground.. wtf. It collapsed. LOL. I was just on top at the corner. Not balanced... I flew down. Injured my leg.. damn it the pain sia.. difficulty walking. Haix. Its always me.. =.= SO dao mei.

These few days damn tu lan by ppl. I dont know why. Its either those bastards or some stupid teachers or the irritants. Kaox. Everyday leading a tu lan life.. This year having my Os.. How am i going to study like this ? From starting of sch till now.. i still cant concentrate. Day-dreaming or sleeping during class.. didn't study for tests.. waste time. Haix. Can anyone save me ?

bastards !

2006-02-10T23:10:00.000+08:00

Kaox.. spoil my mood. Really fucked up by those idiotic bastards.. just cant stop their idiotic minds.. stupid ppl. I just cant understand why are there such ppl in the world. REAL BASTARDS ! i'm really damn tu lan now.. getting to the top of my limits.. its not just once.. i have been tolerating. I really cant control anymore.. feel like thrashing those irritants. These are wat we call irritating irritates. Just cant stop their crazyness no matter wat u do. I'm just useless.. kaox.. sometimes i really feel like can i just dont care anything.. but i cant do it. Maybe i'm in the fault.. but.. aiyah .. dont feel like continueing.. Anyway, this time i wont let things goes on so easily.. NO. I will do wat i can.. but if u dont coorperate.. i can do nothing...

* update. Next week 8 TESTS. wtf. just kill me.

Nitex. byes. die

crazyness !

2006-02-09T16:31:00.000+08:00

SO boring and tired this few days.. Sianx. Suddenly forgot how to blog liaox. Don't really have the spirit to blog anymore. But i'll still be blogging. Hahax. Boring and tired now. =.=

Yesterday was so fun ! Lolx.. After sch went beach road with scoutie mates and Spencer.. Hahax.. it was so fun along the way. Laughing and joking throughout. XD ! Mr Spencer Ng superb at driving. LoLx. It was cool... Went there bought lots of things And walked lots. Then i going temple at 6.30.. but 6.40 we were still at beach road.. Hahax.. luckily the road back to sch passes the place so i got down half way.. and left my bag at sch.. Hahax. U know on the way back, there were 7 ppl in the car.. and the car was damn small. >.<

Sianx sianx sianx !!! Next week is a damn busy week. There are only 5 schooling days..Monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday and friday. AND i got 6 tests.. WTF. So much events. Tml staying back to prepare for the scouts booth.. till i think will be quite late. Sat going sch for golden jubilli. Sunday will be out whole day. Next tuesday Valentine's Day XD.. wednesday total defence day.. but nothing much.. thursday is a Special* Day...heeheex.. And most importantly... Saturday is MY BIRTHDAY !! LOLx.. remember horx... hahax..

Gtg for now.. gonna study le.. See i so guai.. lolx.. Bye lahx..

tired !

2006-02-06T19:02:00.000+08:00

TIRED !!!

Super Friday !

2006-02-03T22:25:00.000+08:00

Last few days nothing special happened BUT a lot of things happened.. lolx. Its quite a long story, so not mentioning. Anyway, i was so sick after new year.. all kinds of sickness struck me... dying. Flu, cough, fever, throat bleeds. Hahax... but luckily i'm strong.. wont die so easily... (= Oh ya, guess wat. i've got an answer finally. So thats history. I know lahx. I'm just trying to be secrective.. and i know it sucks.. but no choice. Want know ask me.

Today,discipline training, fun. Tml,sec1s coming in, fun. lolx. Gtg sleep liaox.. Buaix. sleep early too kaes ? hahax. Nitex all.

Happy Chinese New Year

2006-01-29T00:03:00.000+08:00

Hey !! its 12.03am now !! I'm late 2 mins... Hahax.. Nvm.. ANyways, Wish Everyone A Prosperous Chinese New Year !! LOlx.. gong xi gong xi.. hmm.. i'm still waiting for the call... =)

still as before..

2006-01-28T13:23:00.000+08:00

Haix.. i'm back posting again lers. Hahax. It's still the same as before. My heart is still floating around.. how ? Now shld be happy yea. Today is Chinese New Year Eve ! hahax.. Everyone should be celebrating bahx. But i'm still trap in the cliff... the cliff of love.. lolx. It seems so difficult, but i know i can do it and i wont be alone. Hahax. Although i'm still not settled, but i think its time for me to post again... yupx. Through this period of time, i was thinking so much that i thought i wont be able to make it through. I was thinking, where does love brings one to ? I thought... it brings you to the end of the world.. Hahax. You know, i discovered a new thing ! Hahax. When you are waiting for something to come or others, its difficult to concentrate on doing anything. Yah, its true, cux i tested it. Hahax.

Last few days lots of thing happen worx. Hahax. Basically, tuesdays and wednesday nothing much.. just tests and tests. Hahax. But thursday ! wah kaox.. Early in the morning prepare to go sch. Open the door, found 4 police car below. Wow ! what was happening nehx ? thats on my mind. Look around.. around.. OHMYGOD ! Someone just suicide jumped. =.= Just in front of my block. Its still so early and no one knows abt it i think. They were keeping so low profile. Then i see see see.. see the corpse.. but its covered and with soo much blood around.. omgosh. THEN, wah kaox.. while looking, the policeman go flip open the cover and took photos.. guess what i saw. Ahhh !! I covered my mouth. I stay at 3rd floor, so its near and clear. Its not going to be easy on what will be on ur mind later. Hahax. Went sch and treat it nothing had happened. Haix. While having maths lesson that day, me and sl went toilet. wah kaox. Guess what we saw ? lolx. Someone kana bashed by a group of ppl. Its real. Shh. Went back class. Saw nothing. Hahax. Exciting day yea ? LOLx.

Yesterday mah.. Only went sch a while for new year's concert. It suck. =Xx. Actually quite ok lahx. Dont be too bad. Hahax. Although i was half sleeping. Hahax. After that went out with bryan and si hao. Get myself injured and went home. Slack. Sianx.

This year de new year is so much different from before lers. Perhaps a lot of things are affecting me bahx. Study stress.. and some other external affairs. Hahax !! Hao bah.. ending here le.. Wish everyone a Happy Chinese New Year ! Get lots of red packets... and prepare to buy birthday present for me ! Hahax.. i think its abt 3 weeks more ? LOL. remember horx.. Hahax.

Best Wishes !

i will be waiting..

2006-01-23T19:15:00.000+08:00

No more blogging till i'm settled.. =))
wait for me !!

haix.

2006-01-22T15:58:00.000+08:00

hahahax... just deleted this post.. cux i think its unneccesary.. =))

hurts

2006-01-21T23:09:00.000+08:00

i know... deep down in my heart. i wouldn't want to let go.. but i have no choice.. haix.. i can only suffer in silence.. bleeding in my heart.. how i wish..

again

2006-01-21T17:13:00.000+08:00

Again.. in my life.. its raining outside.. its quite true.. its the 3rd time... and it rains.. i know... no matter what i do now... i cant make a difference.. i cant study or do anything now... gonna fail all the test next week.... i know.. no.. i don't know what i'm doing... i'm shattered.. alone in my room.. onli the sounds of songs i could hear.. the rain... what else can i do... the earth has no place for me..

I must control myself.. i must.
i will prove to everyone.
i will make you regret.
I know i have lost the war..
i'm injured but i'm not dead.
i will stand up again, and prove to everyone.
What i can do.
I will.
No matter how shattered i am,
i will fight till the last breath.
I will.
I've learnt from the mistake.
I will strive for the best.
I will.
I've found the objective of my life. Have you ? I won't be trap in the cage forever. I will see the world. I will. Its just a small chapter in my life. But yet, an important lesson.

No matter what decision you choose.
I've decided.
Is either i love or i will make you regret.
You have created too much scars on me.
And i know.. it will last for long..
You thought, but you didn't know how i feel. I have eyes that can see. I have ears that can hear. But maybe you didn't know i have a heart that can feel.
I have regretted for loving you too deeply.. i cant turn back now.. but to continue its way and let it go..
You gave me nothing.. but i know, i gave u nothing too.. i'm sorry.
Too much sry and promises from you. Yet its emptied too many times.
You made me hesitate before believing your words.. We have lost of trust.
I read your blog thousands times. You made me wonder. I read the testi you have for me. You made me wonder. I read the testi you've got for him. You broke my heart.
You never gave me a chance. I know. I've let u down.
I'm sorry.

I have left nothing much to say.. just waiting. You flooded my mind. I cant concentrate on doing anything. I stared on the floor, standing, for an hour.. not sure wats on my mind.. till someone called me, then i was awaken. its amazing. Maybe this is the last time i'm blogging.. or perhaps i will blog sometime later.. too much things happened.. i need to tidy myself. I need to clear my mind. I believe the sky will be blue once again, and the sun shining brightly. I will strive for what i want.

Be Prepared !

i sucks

2006-01-20T22:13:00.000+08:00

So many things happen. Something came to me just now. Sad once again. Wasn't in a very good mood. I shouted at my mum. She is angry. My dad scolded me. My sis just keep adding fuel to the fire. I sucks... i'm miserable.. i.... haix.. so many things are affecting me this very moment.. i'm dying... realli.. i know this time, its not simple..

tml need go sch at 7.30am for master parade.. at night going steamboat with my cousins and friends. don't know what's going to happen on sunday.. Next week got 3 tests till now. Monday bio test. Tuesday social studies test. Wed chemistry test. I can't live on.. How am i going to study at this point of time.. I can't.. i know the world is going against me.. nothing is going right.. yet i know everything was right.. i'm the one who is wrong.. i got so much to say..yet i have no say.. i'm just like an ant under the sun with a magnifying glass over me.. i will get burn anytime.. no matter how fast or how long i travel.. i still cant get away from it.. waiting for my verdict at this moment.. i will get execute anytime.. i cant do anything.. just a piece of blank paper for anyone to do anything on it.. i know.. deep down in my heart... .. ..

kaox

2006-01-20T17:54:00.000+08:00

Kao. I'm getting sick and tired of this. You don't let me not to care. I can. Thats all you could give me. I just see everything in my heart.. my eyes hurts..

I'm just a guy waiting for verdict.. and preparing to get execute anytime...

arghh

2006-01-19T18:22:00.000+08:00

ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!!
ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!!
ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!!
ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!!
ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!! ARRGHX !!!

the world hates me..